


Impossible Equation

by Kisatsel



Category: Do No Harm (TV)
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Bad Fake Science, Blow Jobs, Dialogue Heavy, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Restraints, glaring medical inaccuracies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 17:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8218429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisatsel/pseuds/Kisatsel
Summary: “You gave me fucking homemade Viagra!” Jason hissed.“You voluntarily ingested an unknown experimental chemical substance!” Ruben said defensively. “Trust me, the consequences could’ve been far, far worse.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> The premise of this fic makes very little sense but just roll with it. Shout out to trick-please for putting together the [Do No Harm LMM Supercut](http://trick-please.tumblr.com/post/150746502013/the-do-no-harm-lmm-supercut) which is entirely responsible for... whatever this is.

If Jason had a talent, it was taking a salvageable situation and turning it into a clusterfuck of unimaginable proportions. Malignant presence in your brain manifesting itself as an chaotic evil alter-ego? Sounded bad, sure, sounded pretty damn stressful, but there were ways to control the problem. Sturdy restraints and locked doors, for example. The kill drug was getting there! Ruben was so _close_. So clearly the thing for Jason to do had been to hastily down a vial of an untested chemical substance and remove the one stable factor regulating said alter-ego’s appearances. Right? Act first, think never. Just keep barrelling onward. 

So now they had Ian by day, Ian by night, Ian let loose at medical conference events, Ian strapped down and roaring in the basement, Ian grabbing Ruben by the neck and slamming him against the wall, digging his palm into his throat so that the air cut out and black stars danced in his vision. Standing over Ruben as he sobbed wetly and telling him that he’d make sure that Ruben died slowly, and doing his best to follow through on that promise. 

There were bruises on the soft skin of Ruben’s arms where Ian had carelessly stuck the fistula needles in his veins and he pressed his thumbs against the sore patches now and again as a reminder to himself. Stay sharp. Here in the lab, breaking the problem down into molecules, chemical structures, patterns to be charted, he was fine. His brush with absolute terror had done wonders for his productivity. Two men’s lives in his hands. Three, if he counted his own, which he did. Even lab rats clung to life for as long as they could. 

\---

He didn’t take any time off after the incident in the basement. That would have felt like giving in. So here he was, back in the lab: just another day at the hospital. And what day wouldn’t be complete without Jason marching into the lab, planting himself in front of Ruben and voicing those dreaded five words: “Ruben, I need your help.”

Ruben raised an eyebrow. “I presume this is outside the help I’m already providing by working all day long and most of the night on drugs to get that guy out of your brain.”

“Yeah.” Jason clapped him on the shoulder. “You know how grateful I am. Listen. You said you’re trying new approaches alongside working on the kill drug. More temporary solutions.”

“Yeah. If you can’t cure it, contain it. I figure it would be handy to have some stopgap measures on hand in a pinch.” Ruben gestured over to a tray of pills on the next bench over with a flourish. “Increase levels of certain neurotransmitters to counterbalance the wild spikes we see when Ian takes over, and if you ramp up the levels sufficiently it should confuse the changeover signals. Keep him out for a while longer.”

“Sounds good. I’m in a pinch,” Jason said urgently. “Right now.” 

“Woahhh.” Ruben immediately regretted admitting that he’d made progress. Backtrack, backtrack. “Easy, tiger. Most of it’s still in the theoretical stage. Just ideas knocking around in my brain.” He tapped his forehead. 

Jason glanced over at the pills. “Looks. I have--” Jason pushed up his sleeve to look at his watch. “I have a meeting with Olivia in twenty minutes. I need to keep Ian out till it’s over.” 

“Rearrange.” 

“Not gonna work.” Jason took a step closer, staring at him, imploring.

Ruben stepped back. “Get someone else to go instead.” Curse his constant need to boast about his progress. Now he was up against the cabinets, Jason pressing in on him.

“I can’t Ruben, okay!” Jason shouted. “It has to be now. I need to earn her trust.” Ruben stared helplessly back. 

Jason released him abruptly. He stepped back, and turned towards to the tray. “So what are these gonna do to me?” 

“It’s a stimulant,” Ruben said, through gritted teeth. He walked up to the bench and placed his hands protectively over the samples. “Clumsy solution to an intricate problem. Ramp up dopamine and norepinephrine, target the pathways that are lighting up in the temporal lobe, you’ll have heightened cognitive and physical capabilities for a short period of time and the transition signals won’t get through.” 

“Sounds perfect.”

“It’s untested,” Ruben said. Jason seemed to have robbed those words of any meaning by sheer stubborn will. “Zero tests,” Ruben emphasized. “This cocktail of chemicals should keep Ian shut away for a brief period of time but we don’t know what it’s going to do to you.” He rested his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Don’t. Don’t risk yourself like this.”

“Ruben. There’s no time.” Jason stared at him, breathing heavily, his fingers clutching onto the edge of the tray.

Ruben shook his head. “I can’t allow this.” 

“You don’t have a choice,” Jason said. He shook off Ruben’s grip and grabbed the tray out of his hands, stuffed a handful of pills in his pocket and walked out of the lab.

Ruben resisted the urge to punch the wall or throw expensive medical equipment on the floor. “Great talk!” he said loudly to the door, once it had swung closed. “You - Jesus.” How many pills had Jason taken with him? 

He played two games of minesweeper on the hardest level, and then he went out of the lab and glared at a few techies and dug around until he found several cases of sugar pills in bright colors, stacked them prominently on the bench in front of the door, and then he locked the test capsules away and went to look over his readings from the latest computer test of the kill drug again. 

He tried not to dwell on Jason and whatever chemical high he was probably experiencing right now. Tried not to think about Jason coming back to the hospital in an ambulance. 

It occurred to Ruben that while he’d been working night and day on containing Ian, he didn’t have a single strategy in place for containing Jason. 

That... might have been a tactical error. 

\---

Forty minutes later, the door to the lab opened again and Jason came in. “Ruben,” he said. At least, it sounded like Jason. The horrible thought struck Ruben that he might never really know if Jason was Jason any more. 

Ruben twisted his hands together tight behind his back and took a deep breath. “Everything good? The meeting went okay?” 

Jason clenched his jaw manfully and looked at the ground. “Yeah. It was fine.” Ruben watched him closely. Jason’s face was ruddier than usual, flush spreading to his neck, and he was drumming his fingers against his thigh. “I thought I felt Ian at one point, just for a moment, but he couldn’t get through.” 

“Fascinating. Let me check your vitals.” Ruben beckoned him over and took placed two fingers against his wrist. Jason’s pulse was jackrabbit fast, his hand shaking slightly. “Jason, how are you feeling?” 

“Bright, a little dizzy,” Jason said. “I knew there would be side-effects, but. I think. There may be a problem.”

“Want me to take another set of readings?”

Jason pulled his hand back and twitched at his coat. “No,” he said. “I think I’ve diagnosed what’s wrong.”

“Okay.” Ruben waited. Jason was staring again. “I warned you about possible mood swings. Your heart rate’s high, but not critically so.” 

Jason closed his eyes, as if in terrible pain. “Ruben, I have had an erection for the last half an hour, and it won’t. Go. Away.”

Ruben formed his mouth into a silent oh. He rubbed his thumb against his forehead. Don’t look, don’t look, he told himself furiously. His eyes drifted downwards of their own volition. Goddammit. 

“I see,” Ruben said. “And you brought this problem to me.” 

“You gave me fucking homemade Viagra!” Jason hissed.

“You voluntarily ingested an unknown experimental chemical substance!” Ruben said defensively. “Trust me, the consequences could’ve been far, far worse.” 

I can’t work like this. Give me the antidote.” Jason seemed to realise that Ruben was looking directly at the outline of his dick and moved to place the bench between them. 

“What antidote?” Ruben laughed, and then stopped abruptly when he saw the look on Jason’s face. “Oh god, I’m sorry, this is-- I just threw this together, it was not supposed to be actually consumed by anyone, erections were not the goal.” The first time in several years he’d been responsible for getting another guy hard, he thought, slightly hysterically. Figured it’d be a major inconvenience for everyone involved. 

“I’ve tried jerking off,” Jason said irritably. Ruben thought of Jason desperately jerking it in some hospital bathroom and bit the inside of his lip. “It just made it worse.” He slumped against the bench. “Look, can I just. Hide out here, until this goes away. You’ve always protected me, Ruben, even when I make mistakes.” 

“That’s what I’m here for.” Ruben spread his hands and smiled widely, a _Ruben is here to help!_ smile. “Though, not gonna lie, it sounded for a minute like you were bringing your sex problem to me in the hope that I would help you get off, which would be an unexpected turn of events even by our standards.” He laughed a little too loudly. 

“I would never,” Jason said, strained.

“Well,” Ruben said. “Guess I’d better get back to work. You’ve given me a lot of new data to mull over.” 

\---

Having Jason hiding out until his boner went away was, to say the least, distracting. He was sitting on Ruben’s desk chair in the corner of the lab, staring down at his tightly clenched hands. His silent presence screamed at Ruben.

Ruben delayed the inevitable for as long as possible, clattering around and updating his records. Eventually curiosity got the better of him “Jason.” Jason jerked his head up, and looked at Ruben with obvious discomfort. “I need to do some tests. We can’t waste this opportunity to gather data on how this treatment affects your brain.”

Jason jerked a nod. 

“Okay. Cool. Awesome.” Ruben couldn’t help the little leap in his heart at the prospect of new readings, new angles, new approaches. He kept up a steady stream of nervous patter as he fetched the equipment and got Jason arranged lying down on the bench. Just another day at the office. A good one, even, since nobody had tried to choke him yet. Thank god the techs didn’t bat an eyelid at what they saw going on through the windows of his office. 

Ruben dumped the EEG device on the table nearby. “Close your eyes for me and breathe in and out.” 

“Ruben,” Jason said, a little choked. “You’ve given me more EEGs than I can count. I know how it goes.”

“Okay,” Ruben said placatingly. “This might be cold.” He squeezed out some cream onto his fingertips and massaged it gently onto Jason’s head. Jason’s breathing stuttered, and he whimpered. He was still visibly hard. He squeezed his eyes closed when Ruben began attaching the electrodes. “Breathe,” Ruben reminded him. 

Jason’s brainwaves began to scroll across the computer screen. Ruben perched on a stool with a pencil between his teeth and watched the zigzags form. Two people, two completely different personalities. A silent battle playing out in jagged electrical impulses. 

“You’ve got high beta activity and a mild theta increase. That’s the pills you took.” Jason let out a small noise of assent. “I’m looking for those seizure spikes. Traces of Ian.” Ruben leaned in closer, squinting at the screen. “Ha!” He waggled his fingers at the screen. “He’s there, but muted. Drowned out in the noise. The switch won’t trip.” 

“That’s good,” Jason said hoarsely. 

Ruben smiled down at him and shook his head. “Hi there, Ian. Tough luck buddy.”

“ _Don’t_ call me Ian.” 

“Right. Sorry. We can take these off now.” He removed the electrodes and helped Jason off the table. Jason breathed in sharply when Ruben nudged him back down into the chair. Ruben gulped. Must’ve been over an hour now Jason had been enduring a medically induced hard-on, most of it spent with his undeniably awkward male colleague who had nursed a poorly hidden crush on him for years. Jason was a strong man. Though right now, he looked a little like he was drifting away. That was... not good. The drug was supposed to be wearing off. 

“Jason. How many of those pills did you take? Jason!” Ruben flicked his cheek. 

Jason gasped and turned his head towards Ruben with some effort. “Three. I took three, okay.” 

Ruben raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Of course you did. Stay there, I’m going to set up a microdialysis probe.” 

“Right now?”

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Ruben said pointedly. Jason screwed his face up and shook his head. “I thought not.” 

This was unexpectedly satisfying, Ruben mused, as he prepped the pump and hooked it up to the computer. They might not even need to get hold of spinal fluid if he could gather enough data on Jason’s neurochemistry from blood analysis. 

“Are you qualified to do this?” Jason said. He was breathing shallowly, shoulders tensed. Ruben took his arm gently and turned it over. Jason groaned. “Ruben,” he muttered. 

“Shh. I’ve done this before. Only on rats, admittedly, but the principles are exactly the same.” Ruben traced the entry points for the cannula gently with one blunt fingernail. The pale skin of Jason’s inner arm was oddly vulnerable. 

“Ruben. Ruben, _please_.” 

Ruben drew his hand back. That was a different tenor of _please_ from Jason’s usual. It was a need, not a demand. He saw that there were tears in the corners of Jason’s eyes, and it sent a tremor of shock through Ruben, gathering strange and shivery in his belly. 

“No needles?” he said. 

“Not that. Just. I can’t do this. When you touch me, it.” Jason sounded like he was forcing the words out. 

Ruben let his eyes drift over the prominent bulge visible beneath Jason’s scrubs. Jason’s newest enduring problem courtesy of misfiring signals somewhere in his brain. It must be terrifying, to know that your own body only half belonged to you. He felt a sudden, overwhelming rush of pity towards stubborn, arrogant, guilt-wracked Dr Jason Cole. 

“Jason,” Ruben said carefully, before reality resumed and he realised that this was a terrible, terrible idea. “Would you like me to help with that?” 

Jason’s mouth dropped open. He blinked. “Help.” 

“Help with my mouth,” Ruben clarified. “On your dick. One time only offer due to extraordinary circumstances, normal relations will resume immediately afterwards and knowledge of this blowjob will never travel outside of this room. Promise.” 

“You’d... do that?” Jason said slowly. 

“Jason,” Ruben said. “You owe me a lot, so I’m trusting you not to get weird or use this against me. But. Trust me, it would not be a chore. If anything, I’m taking advantage of the drugged state which I put you in.”

“Please,” Jason said, his voice hard. “Take advantage.” 

“Oh.” Ruben stood there, stunned. “Alright.” His own arousal, which he had been suppressing through sheer mental discipline, was harder to ignore when Jason was seated in front of him, head tilted back and legs spread, pleading for Ruben’s mouth and shivering under his touch. 

Yes, okay, Jason was heavily drugged up, but it seemed there was only one way to solve his most pressing predicament. 

Ruben glanced around; the lab complex was empty, his colleagues probably gossiping in the cafeteria. He rolled up his sleeves, got to his knees and nudged Jason’s legs further apart so he could fit between them. 

Jason looked in a state of shock. He was moving his mouth as if trying to remember how to form words. “And Ian?” he said. 

Right. For a few brief moments, Ruben had actually managed to forget about Ian. “Ian could come,” he acknowledged. “You took a massive dose of those pills but they’ll wear off eventually. I should’ve been thinking about that. Don’t know what was up with me. Well. Yes, I do.” He nodded at Jason’s cock. 

“Tie me down.” Jason placed his arms flat on the armrests. “That way you can get out of here if he makes an appearance.” 

“Really?” Ruben said, squinting up at him. Ruben’s cock certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea. Ruben’s cock was not the priority right now. 

“Yes, really! Just. Get on with it.” Jason drummed his fingers restlessly. 

“Alright.” Ruben stood. A few weeks ago Jason had brought him arm and leg restraints to keep in the lab and awkwardly dumped them in front of Ruben’s computer. Just as a precaution. A sensible precaution, as it now turned out. Ruben fitted the cuffs over Jason’s wrists and fixed the straps to the arms of the chair, tight enough that there wasn’t much room to yank or wriggle. Jason shut his eyes. Ruben wet his lips and knelt back down, his heart thudding. 

“Relax,” he said, kneading Jason’s thighs with his hands. “The problem is you’re all tensed up.” He pushed aside the lab coat and eased Jason's pants down over his thighs. Jason’s cock sprang up when Ruben freed it from his boxers; it was flushed dark red and wet at the tip. Ruben winced in sympathy, heard Jason’s indrawn breath, didn’t look up. 

Ruben licked his palm and grasped him lightly. “R-ruben,” Jason said “Can you.” The last time Ruben had heard his name stuttered back at him in that voice he’d been cold with terror; now he was hot all over, hungry like he’d forgotten he could be.

Ruben shushed him. “Try not not to make too much noise.” He stroked Jason a little faster and contemplated what he was about to do. It had been a while. A long while. Work consumed your life, and he’d gotten so used to fulfilling his own body’s needs that the idea of sex as something shared had become nothing more than a fantasy, thrilling but entirely out of reach. 

Still, he’d had some encounters, back in the day. Attractive women had nearly always seemed unobtainable but it wasn’t hard to find a guy to fuck, if you went looking. With Jason panting above him, Ruben wondered why on earth he’d decided that looking wasn’t worth his time. 

“ _Ruben._ ” 

“Right! Okay.” Quit stalling, you cowardly idiot; take what you want. Ruben took the head of Jason’s cock in his mouth and sucked lightly. Above him, Jason moaned. Ruben sunk down a little further, opened his mouth wide to accommodate the warm press of Jason against his tongue and throat. He closed his eyes and relaxed into it. Turned out all those pornos about sucking your boss off had been onto something. This was ludicrous, potentially disastrous, and if he had to stop right now he’d probably cry. 

Jason bucked up into him and Ruben gagged a little. He brought his hands up to hold down Jason’s hips as best he could and concentrated on opening up his throat, taking him further. They settled into a rhythm, Jason’s hips twitching under Ruben’s hands and making beautiful, desperate noises. Ruben felt spit gathering in his mouth and swallowed. 

He looked up, finally, and let out an involuntary moan when their eyes met: Jason was watching him with half-lidded eyes, need written across his face. 

Jason’s thighs started to shake, and he groaned. That was fast, Ruben thought, and gripped his fingers into Jason’s hips, sucked hard as Jason broke apart underneath him; yes, he thought, do it, come in my mouth, I can take it. 

The expected bitter rush of come over his tongue didn’t come. The shaking subsided. Jason’s cock was still hard. Ruben opened his eyes, flicked them upwards, and saw the face above him settle into Ian's familiar expression of casual malice. 

“Oh,” Ian said delightedly. “Hello again, little doctor.” His dick twitched in Ruben’s mouth and bumped against his soft palate. Ruben made a tiny, helpless choking noise, and kind of just. Stayed there. Mouth stretched open, drooling a little, dick still hard in his pants. 

Ian made a soft, pleased sound. “Look what we have here.” Cold fear twisted in Ruben’s gut. He tensed in anticipation of the sounds of struggle, kicking, the roar of the caged predator. It didn’t come. “How considerate of you to wake me up with a blowjob. Trying to make up for what you did to me last time we met?" 

Ruben let Jason’s - Ian’s - dick slide from his lips and wiped at his mouth with his sleeve. Get out of here if Ian appears, Jason had said, but Ruben hadn’t really believed that would happen, not when the drug was so visibly still taking effect. 

Which left him here, kneeling and giving head to the guy who had left him to bleed to death less than a week ago. All that remained was to scramble to his feet and gather the remains of his dignity and run.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Ian said. “You looked like you were having a nice time.” He sounded lazily amused, but his hips were pushing up restlessly, straining towards Ruben’s mouth. 

Ruben, torn between churning terror and desperate arousal, found it in him to glare at Ian. “I was until you turned up.” 

Ian laughed. “Let me lay it out for you, Rubes.” He drummed his fingers against the arm of the chair, a steady tap-tap-tapping in Ruben’s ear. “You gave me a nice surprise just now. I’m feeling unusually forgiving. Your mind-numbingly boring, tragically heterosexual friend only let you near his dick because you put _something_ in his head, something to try and stop me from getting here, and it nearly worked but I’m not even mad anymore because waking up to that felt so fucking good. Look. You like being used and degraded by a man who'll never love you. I like to have a good time. Today's your lucky day, Ruben. Two for the price of one.”

Ruben closed his eyes and tried to think clearly, tried to ignore Ian’s cock bobbing right before his eyes, tried to find the lie. 

“Or,” Ian said quietly, dangerously, “you could leave me here like this, and suffer the consequences next time we meet. When I’m not feeling so generous.”

Ruben breathed in and out and shuffled back in between Ian’s legs. He reached up to grasp Ian’s cock with shaking fingers. 

“Good boy,” Ian said.

Oh. Oh, that was good, that was not at all what Ruben needed, it was exactly what he needed. Fuck it, he decided, and pressed his lips against Ian’s shaft, kissed his way up and took it in his mouth. 

Ian moaned exaggeratedly, and the sound went straight to Ruben's dick. It sounded like Jason, was the thing. Stupid Jason, who he'd followed around like a lost duckling, who hadn't looked at Ruben once until one day he had and Ruben had never been able to stop chasing that.

Jason had owned him without even realising it, but Ian looked at him, talked to him like he knew exactly who Ruben belonged to.

“You can work harder than that, come on,” Ian said, his voice betraying his desperation. Ruben tried to open his throat and let it be fucked, accommodate Ian’s thrusts as best he could. “That’s right. Like that. God, that feels good.” 

Ruben thrilled with pride. He relaxed into it, Ian's voice, telling him how nice he looked with a cock in his mouth, how he was made to be used this way. His jaw ached, his throat sore, unused to the rough treatment. Holding Ian down was futile, so he clutched onto his thighs and blinked back tears and let himself be whatever Ian told him he was. 

Ian moaned loudly when he came, way too loudly. Ruben gulped it down until he felt it spilling out over his lips, slid up and let it hit his face.

Ruben released Ian’s softening cock and tucked it into his pants. He bit his lip. Miraculously, Ian remained silent. Ruben felt small and needy and untouched. Sweaty, unsettled, come-smeared, breathing hard, he lifted his chin and awaited judgement. 

“Ruben,” Ian said, the corner of his mouth tilted up in a smile. It was enough. Tears welled up and caught in Ruben’s eyelashes; he swiped at them with the corner of his sleeve and then scrubbed at his face. Ian bared his teeth and rattled his arms in their cuffs. “Come on. Untie me and let me give you what you need.”

“I can't untie you,” Ruben said miserably. “You might murder me, remember?” His knees hurt but he didn't want to get up.

“That's not in my immediate interests, but okay. Point taken. Ruben. Look at me.” Ian swept his eyes over Ruben. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Ruben whimpered and pressed in closer to him. 

“Get up here,” Ian said impatiently. “Come on, Rubes. You were so good. Sit in my lap and let me see you touch yourself.”

Ruben flushed. God, he wanted. He stood and bent over at the waist, pressing his hands against his aching knees, then cracked his back. “I’m an old man,” he muttered as he clambered awkwardly up onto Ian’s lap.

“Go on.” Ian looked relaxed, as if being tied to a chair was no impediment to his plans. They were very close like this. His thighs were warm underneath Ruben. Ruben undid his fly and breathed out a sigh of relief when he got his hand on himself. 

He closed his eyes and pushed up eagerly into his fist. 

“You know,” Ian said thoughtfully. Ruben groaned. “I think you deserve a taste of your own medicine. Someday I’m gonna find where you keep the rest of this stuff and feed some to you. Fuck you like that while you’re hard and desperate for my touch. Even more desperate than usual. Keep you tied up, let it drive you crazy.” 

“I could - I could gag you,” Ruben told him. “I could stop you from saying these things.” 

“Like I gagged you? I enjoyed that. No, little doctor, you're the one who doesn't need to be talking right now.”

Ruben moaned more loudly. He was so close; it felt like he had been needing this for hours, for a lifetime. He gripped himself tightly, pressed his thumb under the head the way he liked. Ian made a noise of approval. 

“Do it,” Ian said savagely. Ruben sobbed, and came into his hand. He collapsed onto Ian’s chest and stayed there, head pressed against the bare skin of his neck. Ian rested his chin on Ruben’s head and hummed. 

Ruben could feel the jump of Ian’s pulse, the slight scratch of stubble against his cheek. He drew back and wiped his hand on the inside of his lab coat. 

“Wow.” Ian twisted his lips. “I feel kinda weird.”

“Drugs’ll do that to you,” Ruben said softly. “Or so I’ve heard.” Stupid brain chemicals. Having fucked up sex in your office with the maniac who stole your friend’s body wasn’t supposed to feel this _good_. 

Ian rolled his eyes. “I usually time it so Jason gets the comedown.” 

“Can I do some analyses of your blood?” Ruben smiled hopefully at him. He sounded hoarse and sex-wrecked. 

“What are you gonna do with the data?”

“Routine... analysis,” Ruben said. It sounded unconvincing even to his ears. 

“Oh, Ruben,” Ian said cheerfully. He craned his neck forward and bit Ruben’s shoulder through his coat. Ruben squeaked. “You never stop trying, do you? That’s what makes you dangerous.”

“I-- you’re talking about me?” Ruben said, trying to ignore the way the sting sent a shiver through him. “The same guy you just spent ten minutes calling a cocksucking whore?” 

“Mmm. You’re lucky that it makes you fun to play with too.” Ian pulled at the restraints. “Ruuuuuben.” He pouted. “Let me out of here. My fingers are going numb. Think about it. What’s Jason gonna say when he wakes up to find you in his lap?”

“Shut up, Ian.” Ruben did not want to think about the return of Jason. That would mean dealing with consequences. He was comfortable here with Ian trapped beneath him. “I can’t let you out of the lab under any circumstances.”

Ian smiled wickedly. “Take off these cuffs and I’ll stay right here in this chair and let you do whatever tests you want with my blood or my brain, _and_ I still won’t kill you next time I see you.”

Ruben frowned. “You’d let me do that?” 

“I’ve changed my mind. I think you’re right,” Ian said, insincerity dancing in his eyes. “More data never hurt anyone.”

Their eyes met. “I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Ruben said. He leaned in to brush his lips against Ian’s, drew back before the shock of the kiss had time to sink in, and worked the straps of the restraints free. 

Ian groaned, shook out his wrists and palmed Ruben’s ass. Ruben resisted the urge to preen, or laugh, or walk right out of the hospital and never come back. Instead he stood and went to fetch the equipment where he’d left it lying on the table. He was stiff all over, Ian’s taste lingering in his mouth. He clunked the machine down on the table.

“Alright,” Ruben said. “Keep still, please. Let’s get started.” 

\---

Ian’s eyes widened in furious protest when Jason dislodged him from their shared brain once more; he gritted his teeth and snarled, but within a few seconds it subsided, and there was Jason, staring out from that face once more. 

Jason turned his head to take in the probe sticking into his arm. “Microdialysis?” he said wearily. 

“You betcha.” Ruben smiled lovingly at the vial of fluid. “I can get a more comprehensive reading of your neurotransmitter levels based on this. It should speed up the development process of the kill drug.” 

“You took the restraints off. How’d you - oh god, Ruben, what did he do to you?”

Ruben huffed out a laugh. “Nothing,” he said lightly. “I observed him from a safe distance.”

Jason frowned. Ruben could see wheels turning slowly in his brain. “Right,” Jason said at last. “Well. My head feels a lot clearer now.”

“Ian was able to take over because the drug wore off. That’s also why he was able to... deal with the earlier problem.” Ruben demonstrated briefly. “So really I just left him to it.” 

“Good work,” Jason said heavily. “Look, I really - it was really important to me, that meeting with Olivia. I’m grateful.”

“Olivia. Right.” 

Jason flicked his eyes toward the pump. “Is this gonna take long? I have several missed appointments to apologize for.” 

“Just five minutes.” Ruben patted Jason’s hand. He wasn’t disappointed by Jason’s return. That wasn’t it. This was how he liked things. Back to being a helpful facilitator, unthreatening and unthreatened. 

Ian’s voice in his ear whispered otherwise. Ruben glared at the computer screen. Ian Price and his honeyed, knowing obscenities could go to hell along with Ruben’s accidental sex pills. 

“Good,” Jason said. “Thank god that’s over.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are loved! I'm kiwisatsuma on tumblr. Let's make this tiny gross fandom a thing.


End file.
